NumbnessThat's All I Could Feel
by TheWandMaker-x
Summary: It's A SaJan Oneshot. Gunjan sitting on the park bench at MS center feels that All is Lost, while Samrat comforts her.


Well I thought of posting my work on Fanfiction xD

**Disclaimer:** I own Nothing

**"NUMBNESS" that's all i could feel.**

Sitting at the park bench with Samrat, i silently stared at the trees and the flowers, the wet grass and the dullness of the park. There werent any kids playing here, no laughter, no joy like usual parks afterall i was at the center there were people just like me staring at the sky, some at the grass and some just offspace, with their guardians or relatives who were trying to understand the inner workings of their mind, but of all these people i knew what they were thinking...i am one of them. They, just like me, wished to feel the fresh breeze, the cold wet grass which tingles the bare feet, but they couldnt, all they could feel was numbness.

I sighed as i looked at samrat my fiance. He smiled at me, and moved his hand to cover mine, with pain i missed the feeling of his touch, his warm hands . He moved his hands to my cheek, i noticed to wipe my tears as my vision blurred. I looked away. I couldnt feel. Its been a year, back when one fine morning i could feel complete numbness on the right side of my face. At first i thought it was because of sleeping at the wrong position. I rubbed my right cheek but i couldnt feel my fingers, later as i washed my face, even then i couldnt feel the water on the right side of my face.

On seeing a doctor he told me the same assumption i had pretty much made myself. the doctor sent me back home with pain killers and sleeping pills. Soon i could feel my face again and I relaxed and lived life back to normal, what i didnt know was that the same would return in even worse conditions. 3 days back i had a major relapse when i could not feel my body at all. I was numb all over. I had then undergone an MRI test at a private hospital, it had cost loads but it was all worth it. The tests indicated that i am suffering from MS- Multiple Sclerosis a disease that hits the nervous system. Now i am undergoing a medication. The medication doesnt alleviate the symptoms but lessens the damage in the long run. I was bed ridden the first 2 days today samrat had offered to get me here for a change.

I stared at my wheelchair. Will samrat like to have me as a wife after this?

"Gunjan" i looked at him as he said my name. "dont cry, you will be fine"his voice was strangled, it sounded as if he was trying to calm himself. I couldnt speak properly but yet i managed to say "i cant feel".

He sighed as he stood up, he then offered his hand and helped me on the wheel chair as he took me for a round at the park. He stopped under the shade of a tree and sank on his knees as he held my hand.

"Am here for you, if you cant feel, then feel through me" his eyes tinkled as he spoke.

Samrat bent down as he plucked the grass and held it in front of my eyes.

"This grass is as soft as you, this shade of the tree is as pleasant as you, this cold breeze is as beautiful as your touch, and this samrat is gonna wait for u..even if its forever"

I smiled as my vision blurred, i was crying again i realised.

I managed a "love you" to which he hugged me with a love you too, sadly i couldnt return the hug.

Only few days and then i'll be able to feel him, feel the nature, feel my surroundings, the medication will benefit me soon.

2 months later

I smiled as i walked in the garden with samrat. I looked around to find kids playing, laughing and enjoying the heat of the sun just like me. I sighed as i grieved about my disease, but then i felt samrat's hand slid into mine as he squeezed mine assuringly. I looked at him and returned his smile.

Samrat's POV

I noticed Gunjan sigh and remembered the doctor's words.

_There are many symptoms which may arise, our motive is to help her pass all those emotions._

For the past few weeks i had noticed gunjan grieve at her disease and small small things..

At times she may feel down for a moment it may extend to depression as well. _Also try to avoid the stress factor for her, it will only affect her health further, make sure she recieves proper company of her family and loved ones, that will lessen her emotional burden and make her happy._

"So chashmish" i smiled wanting to lighten the mood as we sat at the park bench.

"yeah?" she asked.

"We are going to get maried in a few months time" I grinned as i noticed gunjan blushing.

The doc's words returned.

_Dont worry! despite having MS she can live a happy life. Just a few measures like excercise, a morning jog. I wont say take her for stress management classes, its funny that nowadays stress needs to be managed when we should rather aim to eliminate it._

_"sure doctor.."_

"What do you think about kids?" I asked looking at the children playing by the rides.

"Kids?" she questioned as her smile disappeared, there was a hope in her tone but yet a sadness in an instant i realised her troubles as i recalled the doctor's words.

_Dont worry about having a family, people with MS can be loving, successful parents of healthy happy children_

"yeah kids, why? dont you like them?"

"no its not that..It's just..maybe i couldnt..after" Gunjan said hesitant.

"nothing like that, your doc says we can have a blooming family with healthy kids" i winked at her.

I felt great as gunjan's face broke into a beautiful smile, but then she looked away as her face turned scarlet red. she was blushing again.

I rested my thumb on her cheek as i fixed my gaze on her, she met my eyes so shyly as i shifed closer to her and planted a soft kiss on her cheek, i lifted my face to see her, she had her eyes closed a sweet smile playing on her lips as i closed in to cover the little distance not only physically but also emotionally between us but just then a voice interrupted us.

"eww he's gonna kiss her! tht too on the lips!" I looked u to find a boy around the age of 9 staring at us his face crumpled. The little girl next to him giggled "soo romantic" i guessed her to be of the same age as tht of the boy. "yuck" the boy made a face and left running away covering his eyes with his tiny fingers, while the girl stood there giggling she abruptly stopped as she saw me looking at her and ran away.


End file.
